Christian Marriage & Parenting: How to Support Your Spouse When They’re Overwhelmed
A response to Newsweek’s article and our viral Instagram reel
Partnership in parenting is no joke. It’s a lot of things—a survival tool, a beautiful gift, a lifeline—depending on how you look at it or what season of life you happen to be in. At Dwell Christian Therapy, we often say that a healthy marriage is the foundation for a healthy family, and we’re not joking about that either.
A thriving relationship between spouses is the backbone of all subsequent relationships and family dynamics. It not only keeps the ship steady and pointed in the right direction, but it also models for our children what healthy teamwork can look like. Because make no mistake: parenting is hard. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and so, so significant. We are raising tiny image-bearers with rebellious natures, divine purposes, and eternal souls. What a weighty, holy thing we are doing day after day.
In Christian parenting, we need more than just good intentions—we need grace, structure, and mutual support. And that’s where partnership makes all the difference.
What Happened When We Posted About Parenting…
Recently, one of our Instagram reels about parenting went unexpectedly viral. In it, we shared a moment between spouses that many parents can relate to: a parent reaching their limit, needing a break, and a partner choosing not to take it personally—but instead stepping in with compassion.
That one video struck a chord. It was even picked up by Newsweek and featured in their Family & Parenting column. As grateful as we are for the attention, we also know how easily social media moments can get misinterpreted.
So let’s clarify a few things—especially for those who value Christian marriage, biblical wisdom, and mental health.
Clarifying Misconceptions: Parents Are Human, Too
At Dwell, we’re not here to stir up controversy or pit spouses against each other. We’re here to bring clarity, compassion, and biblical wisdom to the messy, holy work of parenting. So here are a few misconceptions that surfaced in the comment sections—and the truths we hope every parent can hear loud and clear:
❌ Myth: “Parents should never be ‘touched out’ by their own children.”
✅ Truth: This sentiment assumes that good parents can meet every need, at any time, without exception. But the reality is, parents have imperfect, and often wounded, nervous systems too. Even the most loving mom or dad can feel overwhelmed—especially when their nervous system is triggered and becomes dysregulated. The last thing a struggling parent needs is shame or judgment when they (inevitably) reach their limit.
As Christian therapists, we often see the damage that shame does in parenting. You can be fully committed to your children and still need space to calm your body and collect your thoughts.
❌ Myth: “If you step away, you’re abandoning your family.”
✅ Truth: Stepping away for a moment doesn’t equal giving up. It can actually be the most loving, wise, and self-controlled thing a parent can do. When we don’t allow space for breaks, we set parents up for burnout. That’s not biblical, and it’s not sustainable.
Kids don’t just need parents who are always present—they need to see what healthy self-care looks like in emotionally mature adults. Christian parenting means modeling wisdom, not misplaced martyrdom.
❌ Myth: “You knew what you signed up for—so stop complaining.”
✅ Truth: No parent fully understands what they’re signing up for before the baby arrives. Parenting is the ultimate “learn-as-you-go” experience. Instead of saying, “Suck it up,” we should be saying, “How can I support you?”
In Christian community, we are called to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), not dismiss them. Support—practical and emotional—is not just helpful; it’s biblical.
❌ Myth: “Taking a break is selfish—it puts more pressure on your spouse.”
✅ Truth: In Christian marriage, we’re called to serve one another selflessly—not resent each other’s limits. If we view our spouse’s needs as burdens, we’ve missed the heart of biblical love.
When we share the burden of parenting, we reflect the very nature of Christ, who came not to be served, but to serve (Mark 10:45). Teamwork in marriage sets the tone for healthy family dynamics and helps our kids understand what sacrificial love really looks like.
There’s No Perfect Script for Parenting
Let’s be honest: parenting doesn’t follow a script. No book, no course, and no principle can prepare you for every situation or every child. What we can do is stay curious about the people God has placed right in front of us–both our kids and our spouses.
One way we can do this is by becoming students of our spouses, learning their stress signals, discovering how to support them when they’re overwhelmed, and choosing to love them even when they’re not at their best. That’s real love in real time.
What the Reel Didn’t Show
The moment we shared online wasn’t meant to be a formula—it was just real life. And it wasn’t meant to set any kind of standard–there’s always imperfection and messiness behind the instagram reel.
When I got home, there was still chaos (because life with 4 kids under 9 is always a little chaotic) and the house was still messy. BUT, supper was started, the kids were (mostly) happy, and I was in a better place. I got the break I needed to get my nervous system back online.
And that one minute? It helped me end the day as a mama still tired–but grounded. Still in the trenches—but not undone.
When we understand nervous systems and know the heart of God, we can show up with compassion and wisdom.
And that changes everything.
Why This Matters
At Dwell, we believe in the integration of Christian therapy, biblical truth, and emotional health. We believe that Christian parenting doesn’t mean pushing through pain with a smile—it means inviting Jesus (and our spouses) into our exhaustion, our parenting, our marriage, and our mess.
So if you’ve felt overwhelmed, touched out, or just not “on your game” as a parent lately… you’re not failing. You’re human. And you’re not alone.
Let’s build homes where rest is allowed, partnership is honored, and the love of Christ shapes the way we raise the next generation.
Looking for Christian parenting support or couples counseling?
Our licensed therapists are here to help. Whether you're in the trenches of toddlerhood or navigating parenting teens, or somewhere in the difficult middle, we're passionate about equipping you with gospel-centered care and practical tools to thrive. Get started with Dwell Christian Therapy today →
For more on Christian parenting, Christian therapy, and bridging the gap between the local church and the mental health community, follow us on instagram @dwellministrync
Author: Kalie Moore, MA, LCMHC. Clinical Therapist. Co-Founder of Dwell Ministry, PC.
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