5 Tips for Improving Body Image and Overcoming Negative Thoughts
I have worked with many teens and women of all ages and various backgrounds who struggle with negative body image. Some of them restrict to the point of emaciation; others say their weight places them in the obese category on the BMI chart. They have relatives who offer unfailing support, relatives who are cold and detached, or relatives who constantly criticize. They skip meals, follow diet fads, eat snacks secretly, and feel guilty for eating a whole banana instead of half. One commonality links all of these women together: They have internalized unrealistic physical beauty standards and base their self-worth on how their bodies look.
Unrealistic Cultural Ideals
No human can meet these ever-changing cultural ideals. And when these women inevitably fail, they suffer negative consequences, including low self-esteem, body shaming, anxiety about their appearance, depression, and insecurity in romantic relationships.
However, failure is not an option for those with perfectionist or people-pleasing tendencies. They strive harder than ever to meet the ideals and, out of desperation, may resort to unhealthy behaviors, such as starving, purging, overexercising, following extreme diets, abusing supplements, and even undergoing surgery. Their bodies take a figurative beating that – if unchecked – can continue for weeks, months, or years. Even decades.
Achieving a Healthier Body Image
How can we achieve a healthier body image? It likely will not come naturally; it takes determination and hard work. Some may find it necessary to seek a higher level of care; they may need medical monitoring and extra supervision and support during recovery. Yet those with less severe symptoms may still have time to pivot and redirect their focus and values. If you’re unsure if this is you, you can always reach out to a trusted professional for an evaluation. Regardless, it’s never too late to begin working on achieving a healthy body image, reflecting that we are all image-bearers of God.
Here are 5 suggestions on how you can improve your opinion of your body and, hopefully, develop a stronger sense of self-worth:
1.Shift Your Focus
Focus on what your body can do rather than how it looks. When you start hating your thighs, think about how they help you climb the stairs and take walks in the park. If you hesitate to wear a tank top because you think your arms are flabby, tell yourself that these arms allow you to hug your partner at the end of a long day. When you stand in front of a mirror trying to determine if your stomach is more distended today than yesterday, remind yourself, “This stomach carried a baby. It created life.” Shifting our minds to how our body functions rather than how it looks can foster appreciation.
2. Stop Playing the Comparison Game
Avoid comparing yourself to other people. If your neighbor wears a bathing suit to the pool that you know you could never pull off, stop jealousy in its tracks and ask yourself if her looks are really what you want to focus your time and energy on. You can retreat inside yourself and refuse to take off your cover-up, or you can toss it on a nearby table and leap into the water to enjoy an afternoon with your friends – who are much more concerned with how much fun they have with you than how you look. And remember: God does not care how you look at all. “Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). If you pause and think about what this verse means, it can be life-altering.
3. Don’t Let Social Media Call the Shots
Along the same note: Avoid social media with all its unrealistic ideals. Just stay away from it completely. Find other ways to connect with friends, learn a new hobby, and voice your opinion on political issues. If complete avoidance is impossible, at least unfollow those accounts that share messages about body shape and diets.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Identify and challenge irrational thoughts that reinforce your negative body image. A trained therapist can teach you cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to recognize extreme thoughts, question the truth behind them, and argue against them. An example of such distorted thinking is, “I must have a perfect body, or no one will like me.” Challenge this thought with statements like, “I know people without perfect bodies, and I like them because they are funny/kind/helpful. Plenty of other people like them too. And if someone dislikes me because my body isn’t perfect, they need to examine their priorities.”
5. Aim for Neutrality over Positivity
Aim not for body positivity but for body neutrality. The problem with the former is that your body is constantly changing. If you feel positive about how it looks now, how will you feel in five or ten years when things have “shifted?” Also, feeling positive about your appearance can create anxiety and the pressure to try to stay that way. The point is to decrease or eliminate anxiety and focus less on how our body looks and more on what it can do.
These five tips are only several ways to address negative body image. If you are concerned that the way you view your body is interfering with your ability to live a full, joyful life, reach out to a professional and seek treatment. You can also read more about body image and eating disorders here. Know that God does not want you to live a life imprisoned by self-loathing, anxiety, and hopelessness. He has a plan that values you for being you – a plan that no one else on earth can fulfill.
Author: Jessie Tucker Mitchell, MA, LCMHCA, NCC
