A New Tradition for a New Year: Reconnecting to Kickstart 2024
Instead of ringing in the New Year with an ambitious to-do list and a side of guilty conscience, I say we try something a little different to welcome 2024. Something that will hopefully endure and build a strong foundation for your marriage. Now, despite my introductory sarcasm, we are actually huge proponents of goal setting—we just need to be realistic, check our motivations, and consider sustainability of whatever changes we’re making. For today, I am proposing that we take a step back and look at the bigger picture, that we take stock of our marriages and families, and that we take time to reevaluate our priorities.
The Plan: Getting Away to Reconnect
One way to do this is to plan a yearly meeting for just you and your spouse. The idea is to set aside time near the beginning of the year — perhaps sometime in January if we were to give ourselves a deadline — to simply check in with one another. This is not a date night and it is not a vacation. Rather, this is meant to be time to regroup, reevaluate, and get back on the same page. We suggest going away for at least one night to give ample time for relaxation, planning, and conversation.
The Why: We All Need a Reset Once in a While
Sometimes in marriage we can inadvertently let relational inertia take over and we can find ourselves slowly moving away from each other. This is time to hit the reset button. We can look back and express gratitude for what we’ve accomplished and done well, we can evaluate current concerns, and we can look forward to what we envision for our lives in the next year. It is time to reconnect—emotionally, spiritually, physically. By making this a yearly ritual, we can prioritize our marriages, reinforce our parenting team, strengthen our friendship, and establish a safeguard against emotional distancing. We can set the tone for the new year.
The How: Making Sacrifices for Your Marriage
It’s not always easy to find the time to do this, and there will always be a million excuses for why you can’t (you’ve probably already had a few come to mind as you’ve been reading this post, right? Childcare, scheduling, travel — anyone?), but this is one way that you can put your best foot forward in the new year – for yourself, for your marriage, and for your family. We encourage you to pray about this and see what you can let go of in order to make time for a marriage reset. But we also know that life is messy and this idea of a yearly getaway won’t look the same for all of us! If this is a particularly difficult season for you and your spouse to take a whole night away, then get away just for the day. If traveling is out of the question, then make plans for the kids and do it in the comfort of your own home. The point is, make it happen, and make it work for you. It takes a team to be a team. So grab your partner in crime, pull out your calendar, and plan your first annual New Year’s getaway!
The What: Ideas to Jumpstart Your Conversation
Feel free to take some time to just be together. Savor a cup of coffee or a good meal and enjoy slow conversation. When you’ve had a chance to catch your breath, you can dive into some productive planning! The following are some discussion questions to get you started:
What was the biggest thing you learned in the past year?
What are you most grateful for about the past year?
How did we do working toward our goals from the past year (if you are already in the habit of goal setting)?
What are you most looking forward to in the coming year?
What is something we did really well in our relationship this past year?
What is one thing we could do to improve our relationship in the coming year?
What do we want to accomplish in the next year (think personal goals, career decisions, finances, etc.)?
What financial goals would we like to set for the coming year?
Where would we like to go on vacation in the coming year?
How can we be encouraging each of our children in his/her gifts, struggles, goals, spiritual journey?
When we give our marriages the gift of time, we are acknowledging its inherent value. Let’s set ourselves up for success as we endeavor to move toward each other—fighting with all we have against the pull of that relational inertia, the lure of selfish convenience when things feel tough, the temptation to put other things first because we’ll have time later to work on the marriage. Our marriages matter—socially, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually—right now. There is too much at stake to let another day go by, let alone another year, without investing in something right in front of us that is so wildly invaluable. Cheers to reconnecting in 2024!
Author: Kalie Moore, MA, LCMHC. Clinical Therapist. Co-Founder of Dwell Ministry, PC.
More Resources:
5 Ways to Deepen Your Connection: Selfless Love in a Selfish World - DWELL
How to Safeguard Your Marriage through Every Season - DWELL
Setting Goals Together for the New Year - Kathi Lipp, Focus on the Family
An End-of-Year Marriage Check-Up - Kevin DeYoung, The Gospel Coalition
